I love movies where aliens with fish heads and marble eyes are drowned into tarps. I mean, traps. For those who came in late, this happened in one of the Star Wars episodes, I can't remember which because I'm still laughing at the fish head alien. He was the one who said "It's a trap!". That's him in the picture. No, not the blue thing, the brown and white one. The blue is an example of what you can find at the tarps store that I'm going to mention next.
And no, you don't need to go out of space to find canvas tarps or poly tarps. Right here on Earth you can find all kinds for tarps at offline and online stores, some of them at very low prices if you search hard enough. The MyTarp.com website store has all types of tarps, truck tarps, flame retardant tarps, all of them or so it seems. And it ships them through UPS for fast delivery.
There are also some interesting items that I wasn't expecting to find there, but there they are: boat covers and gym floor covers. Great! And I have to mention the tarps accessories section. It has ropes, fasteners, hooks, you name it. It even sells scissors, imagine that!
So, may the Force be with you as you search for the custom made tarps you need, young
fish head alien master Jedi! And be careful not to fall into them. Traps, I mean.
There is a proper way to store nuclear and toxic waste so that it won't cause problems in the future. But nobody has discovered it yet. Picture via Shipment of Fail.
It's important to check your teeth periodically for caries and cavities, any good dentist will tell you that. Here are some suggestions of places and situations where you can do that. It doesn't matter if it's a public or private place. If someone asks just say that a voice in your head told you to do it. They'll leave you alone.
So here are my suggestions of places where you can put your hand to a good use (not for that, you pervert!): At the dentist. At the horse tracks. While having a picnic in the park. At your mother-in-law's house during dinner. At the grocery store. At the bank (although in this case, don't do it if you notice the security guard talking to someone on the radio and staring at you at the same time. Security guards don't like it when people check for teeth cavities in public, don't ask me why). And of course: at the next basketball game.
Man, I love The Simpsons! This is one of the best TV series ever. I love Homer Simpson's "Duh!" and Marge's hair style. I loved the "spider pig" episode! And apparently Homer Simpson can cook too judging from his "Corn flakes flambée" picture above! This is one more thing to add to all the other things that he can
This is suppose to be an "epic fail" but if you think about it its not that bad of an idea: I love corn flakes, I love milk, I love crepe flambée, so what's wrong about adding all those great things together? I think I'll try it for breakfast tomorrow…
Let's see… I'm also going to need some gasoline to lit the cereals on fire, and a fire extinguisher in case something goes wrong. I don't see what can go wrong but this a Homer Simpson recipe so you can't be too careful.
Funny picture of a sales page for a "petite computer desk" showing two kids at a computer. They're apparently browsing pictures of cars, and one of them (the smart one I think) points to the other one (the geek I think) where the good stuff is: Under the hood. Via Fail Blog.
I know that some people can do the most amazing stuff with a bicycle but I doubt that anyone could use the bicycle path suggested by this sign… But you can still try of course. Then we get to laugh at you. And call you an ambulance. Yes, in that order.
Also the guy who came up with these bicycle drawings must have a fetish for bicycle seats or something, because each bicycle seems to have two seats, one on each side. And no pedals. How do you drive a bicycle with two seats and no pedals? And if you look at the bicycle drawing upside down, it looks like a house with two big satellite dishes… How do you drive a bicycle that looks like a house with two satellite dishes?
Some people spend a considerable amount of time shredding their privates. I mean, their private stuff. I mean, their private documents. Stuff. And the worst thing isn't that they are being paid to do it (almost everybody who shreds stuff is being paid to do it), but that they do it during working hours. Sometimes they do it in the morning sometimes in the afternoon. Some people even shred their privates at night, after everybody else has left the office. Sometimes the
privates shredding machines document shredding machines brake and there you go, on your way to the nearest "certified private document shredding" store where you proceed to shred your privates in public. Sad. Privacy fail via Fail Blog.
First of all, I'll admit that this blog post has the worst title you and me have ever seen. Next, let me warn you that you should NEVER hold a box with the little arrows pointing down. The only acceptable situation where you can do it is when the arrows have the text "This end down" next to them. Which never happens by the way.
If you can find a box that says that, then you have yourself a rare collectors edition. But if it says "This end up" then you can't do it because you'll be holding it upside down. The fun begins when you pick a box that has one the arrow signs pointing the wrong way like in the picture above (Or maybe they're both pointing the wrong way) because now you get to choose which side should be up and which should be down. Be warned that this is usually more fun to the delivery guy carrying the box (you) than it is for the actual owner of the box. Funny picture via Fail Blog.
Don't you love those funny signs that make you laugh so hard that you end up crying? Yeah, me too. Except for the crying part. In this funny picture, the population count in "New Cuyama" (I wonder where that is… Probably next to "Old Cuyama"…) is all wrong. They're mixing population with sea level and nothing good can come out of that. It's like when you mix Coca-cola with Mentos. Fail picture via Fail Blog.
Some women have problems with their clothes that can go from a t-shirt that's too tight (there's nothing wrong with women wearing tight t-shirts by the way) to straps that snap from their dresses like it happened to Catherine Heigl on the ShoWest convention (see picture above). They usually get irritated when this happens but I don't think it's that bad… There's nothing wrong with a good strap snap once in a while... Specially when it happens to female hot celebrities.
Other women have trouble finding the right size, shape, or color of the clothes they want to wear. It doesn't really matter if they're going to a fancy party or just for a walk in the park. If you're married I'm sure you're familiar with expressions like "Oh (put your name here) what am I going to wear tonight?" or "My God, I have nothing to wear!". But when you look at her closet you see clothes everywhere. This is one of the reasons why men don't understand women.
Women clothes and marriage
You also see lots of dresses that you know your wife only used once and you even see some that you have no memory of ever seeing her wearing! You're confused and you wonder if you should point that to her or not. Maybe she doesn't know she has all those almost-brand-new dresses… That you paid for. Here's a quick tip: When in this situation, never tell your wife what you're thinking. In fact the best thing to do is just to keep your mouth shut. This could save your marriage, trust me. I've been doing it for years and it works: mouth shut and credit card ready at all times.
Also you might want to check the limit on your credit cards as there is a good chance (about 99,9%) That before the week is over you'll be spending hard earned money buying a new dress for your wife. These dresses also sometimes (99,9% of the times…) come with matching shoes, matching purses, and in some cases, necklaces, earrings and bracelets… (better check if ALL your credit cards are ok).
Buying clothing for women online
Some buyers prefer to buy clothes for women in the store around the corner, others like to do it online. Buying stuff through the Internet is not that difficult once you try it. It's actually easier and faster: You never have to leave your computer, the payment is secure, and the products (doesn't matter if it's women jeans or bras, men clothing, a new tv set, or kitchen appliances) are delivered to your doorstep. Personally I actually prefer to buy stuff online and I buy everything
my wife orders me to I need to buy, online.
So it's not difficult to find clothing for women online as long as you look for it in the right places. Yeah Google is a good place to start searching for online stores that sell clothing for women but you might do it faster if you go to a shopping search engine like Shop Wiki (link below). There are other advantages too: you'll immediately see the prices for the clothes right there on the search page results as well as the pictures of the dresses, pants and shirts! Show me a traditional search engine that does that! Feeling curious? Click here to visit the clothing for women page.